


Why Am I Here?

by b0blegum



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Asylum, F/M, Mental Asylum, Mental Hospital, Smut, monsta x - Freeform, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:19:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0blegum/pseuds/b0blegum
Summary: He was once an excellent doctor. An excellent psychiatrist. Everyone loved him. He was nice, kind, always care for each other, he even got the look. We can say… he was the whole package.But his glorious days ended in just one night. The night he woke up as a patient in the asylum where he worked, with no memory of why he is there or what he has done.





	1. PROLOGUE

_The night crawls in and the birds starts to sing. Leaves crackling as the man’s feet stepping on in a rush._

_“Stop right there!” A guard in uniform released a bullet into the thin cold air of November. The sound of anger echoed throughout the forest. The man panted, catching breaths as he rested behind a damped trunk._

_“Fuck. We lost him.” One of the guard stopped and looked around as he flashed the lights. “Go that way!” He ordered. A minute passed. The sound of the furious guards slowly faded along with the fog._

_The man slowly stood up and began to walked with limping leg. He followed the trace he made; worn out ropes, sack of leaves and big trunk with an arrow messily carved on one side._

_A light flashed onto his figure, creating a shadow behind as he walked to the source of light._

_The door clicked opened, allowing the man enter the sedan as he made a winning face._

_“Are you ready, Hoseok?”_

_He smirked._

_“I always am.”_

* * *

“Well, Ms. (y/f/n),” she flicked the paper with her lanky fingers. “I see your CV is truly impressive.” She continued, eyes still fixed on the paper. “I’m sure you’ll be one of the best psychiatrist in our asylum.” She smiled, showing the wrinkles that was hidden in her make up.

“Thank you, Mrs. Lincoln.” You smiled shyly.

“But... may i know why did you choose to work in an Asylum? With a CV like this you could work in a top hospital, earn a lot more, living in a decent apartment,” she leaned forward, putting aside your CV.

“I... hate the smell of hospital.” You said, confidently.

“Interesting.” She gave you a coy look as she made a tent with her fingers. “Here smells a lot worse.” She smiled.

“It’s... alright.” You recalled the smell of corridors you walked through before you finally arrived in Mrs. Lincoln’s office.

“That’s great if it’s alright for you,” she stood up and walked to the window, standing against it as she looked down to the asylum’s private park. “Do you know the Gangnam incident, Ms. (y/f/n)?”

“I do.” You looked at her back. “Good.” She smiled, a bit. “I’ll be giving you the greatest opportunity we can offer to you,” you can feel your heart raced, waiting for her next words. “This might be a bit hard for a fresh graduate like you, but if you did the job really well, a bright future is promised.”

She turned around, taking stacks of paper covered in pale blue map from the edge of her desk and put it aligned in front of you.

“You’ll be his private psychiatrist.”


	2. ONE

“Hey, (y/n). May i sit here?” Ara, the korean-american nurse bowed down slightly next to you.

“Sure!” You smiled at her.

She slid her tray gently and found herself already sitting across the table from you in no time.

“So, how was the first half day here?” She smiled as she teared the wrapper of oatmeal bar she had from her tray.

“It’s alright.” You smiled.

“Just alright?” She narrowed her eye. “I clearly remembered the first day i got here. It was a mess. The patients were losing control and the nurses were all panicked out, but you just alright?” She sipped her iced tea.

“Yeah, i mean… i haven’t meet my patient yet, so what i did until now was hanging out in Mrs. Lincoln’s office and having lunch.” You pointed your tray before grabbing a sandwich.

“Oh,” she nodded. “Anyway, do you want some tour of this building? There are a lot of hidden rooms and sections here,” she leaned forward. “And we- male and female nurses often used one of the room to you know.” She winked.

“No way!” You chuckled at her sudden confession.

“Come on. We need that every once in awhile. Plus, it gets really stressful handling mental patients 24/7.” She said as she spooned her lunch. You shook your head and smiled in awkward embarrassment. “So… tour after lunch?”

You still chuckled. “Alright. Tour after lunch.”

* * *

 

You never knew Ara was one of the friendliest nurses in this asylum. She would said hi to almost everyone she met in the corridor while she gave you a tour, one of them even tagged along to the tour.

His name is Minhyuk. He was assigned in acute psychiatric unit. Sometimes you wondered why he was assigned there and Ara was signed in forensic unit, where she had to deal with criminals, murders and any other unimaginable gory acts.

“Do not go in there if you want to live.” Minhyuk warned as the three of you walked near the end of level 3 hallway. There was an LED ‘Special Care Unit’ sign above the metal door.

“What? Why?” You looked at him before you walked a step closer to the door.  
“Oh– we haven’t told you,” Ara cut Minhyuk before he could even say a word. “She will go in there.”

“Wh—“ Minhyuk looked at you and you looked back at him, confused.  
“She is the new doctor.” Ara said.

Minhyuk gasped. “I thought the doctor would be a muscular guy not… a girl.”  
“Do you think a girl can’t be a doctor?” You raised your eyebrows, feeling a bit offended.

“No! That’s not what i meant. It’s just, this patient is—“

“The three of you!” A raspy voice shouted at the other end of the hallway. “What are you doing there?” He walked in a really fast pace.

“Oh–“ Ara fixed her hair before turning back to found the guard already standing in front of the three of you. “I am only giving a tour for our new doctor,”  
The guard squinted his eyes and stole a glance on the door behind. “The tour in this area is finished. You may go.” He ordered.

“Uh– actually, i have to get in there.” You cut as both Minhyuk and Ara started to walked. The guard looked at you in confusion. “I am his new psychiatrist.”  
“What’s your name?” He looked at your coat. There wasn’t a tag pinned, just yet.

“(Y/n). (Y/f/n).” You said, offering him your hand to shake with his firm big hand. No wonder he was a guard. “This is my first day, so i think i should go in there and have a little introduction time with my patient.” You smiled as you looked at the door over your shoulder. “You may asked Mrs. Lincoln if you still don’t believe me.” You smiled.

Immediately, he talked with someone trough his in-ear and nodded.  
The guard hummed. “The two of you? I know you are from AIPU and you’re from FPU.”

“We’re… going.” Both Ara and Minhyuk waved you goodbye and Minhyuk mouthed you a good luck.

“So… can i get in there, Mr…”

“Hyunwoo. Just call me that.” He answered cooly as he walked passed you, pressing certain numbers on the small machine attached next to the metal door.  
“What’s the number, Hyunwoo?” You asked when you heard a clicking sound and a sound of metal bars shifted behind the door.

“Only the guards of this unit know.”

“Oh– the doctor can’t know?”

“It’s for your safety, Ms. (y/l/n).” He opened the door for you and gestured you to get inside.

You looked at him as you walked in.

“I’ll be waiting outside. No guards are allowed in there.” He said, before he closed the door once you’re completely inside.

A strong alcohol, other medicinal liquids and other not so familiar smells hit your olfactory system all in a sudden the moment the door closed. You closed your eyes and shook your head as the dizziness slowly crawling in your system. It was so heavy. So heavy that you really in need of fresh air.

“That’s what i feel every day.” A voice snapped you. Your blurry eyes tried to find a way to the voice. “Is it suffocating you?”

There he is. A man sit cosily on a built-in metal chair with wrists both tied with restraints. His hair was as messy as his white gown. His face was pale, yet his lips stayed rosy pink. He had nothing in his face except a desperate look shot through his eyes, strongly gazing into you as if he was asking for a favor.

“Shin… Hoseok?” You walked closer as you blinked your eyes multiple times to cleared your blurry sights.

“I think it must be me. Knowing no other human being is in this room except us two.” His eyes followed your movement. “You don’t have name.” His eyes caught the missing pin on your coat.

“(Y/n). (Y/f/n). Your new psychia–” You said, standing as close as you can to him. He looked up to your eye level and smiled.

“You’re my new psychiatrist. I know.” He nodded. “It’s funny how they keep sending me another after the previous one failed treating me, when in fact i don’t need one at all.” He smirked before he changed his expression into a serious one in one second.

“You do need one.” You sat on a chair specially provided for the doctor. It’s just a desk away from where he sat. “You need to be treated.”

“I need to be treated. I need to be treated. I need to be treated.” His voice turned into a mock. “Tell me something new. I’m fucking bored.” He fixed his gaze on you.

“You’re bored, huh?” You smiled at him. “Why don’t we introduce each other, then?” You recommended. “I told you all about me and you told me all about you.”

He scoffed, turning his eyes away to the concrete floor. “I don’t fucking care about you.”

“But i do care about you.” You leaned back. You could see a slight movement of the edge of his lips. “So, shall we start?”

He ignored you, but you kept going anyway. You started off by telling your basic details. Your name, where and when you were born, your first best-friend, your first love, what kind of student you were during high school and why did you decide to be a doctor.

He still ignored you, even though you tried to tell him as you were telling a story to a child, but he still didn’t care. His eyes kept looking down, his fingers won’t stop tapping the arm chair.

“It has been three thousands fifty hundreds and twenty one words so far and i’m getting bored. Do you really want to keep going even though you know my mind isn’t here?” He cut you off.

You were surprised at what he just said. Never in your entire life– not even once, you met someone as detail as him. No, correction, no one in this entire world would count how many words you spat out, except him.

“I will keep going until you paid attention to what i said and until you tell me about yourself.” You smiled, shifting your posture.

He scoffed and slowly turned his eyes to meet yours. “You’re a fresh graduate. You haven’t had experience working in an institution before, this is your first time, so you came here in a rush, not wanting to be late on your first day. Therefore, you skipped lunch and only had tea in the morning. Then you had lunch, obviously with someone. You had an egg and cheese sandwich with a bit of ketchup. You were feeling uncomfortable right now, even though you tried to hide it for me. It was because either this is your first day, or the fact that you are sitting in the same room with me.” He paused for a while. “You were wrong when you said i don’t pay attention. I did pay attention to you. Since the moment you entered this room. So my question, again, will you still continue your story telling or will you walk out of this room and tell Mrs. Lincoln about what just happen between us.”

Your lips parted slightly. He left you in awe with his train of words. He was so detail. What he said were all true. You almost felt like you are the patient and not him.

“Mr. Shin,” you called his name. “I guess, this is the end of today’s session.” You stood up before turning around to the door.

You heard him chuckled the moment you reached the doorknob.

“You lied when you said being a doctor is what you wanted since you were a kid.” He said, stopping you and made your eyes opened wider. “Why don’t we talk about what you really wanted to be in our next session, Ms. (y/l/n)?”


End file.
